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merthur

June 2015

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Jun. 28th, 2015

merthur

Post about myself? Just random things, lil bit depressed

It's been a while^^

Writing, writing, writing, I’m writing this, but while I’m typing I’m still not sure if I would post it. I don’t used to write about myself but so many things happened these days I just feel like I must make a little post about my current state.

First of all I think I’m may finished with my „best friend”. She’s been my friend since 2000 but I’ve known her since kindergarten. Even in those times she caused me many pain and as we got into elementary school we separated. Then in 5th grade we got into the same class and somehow got together. We just learned we lived pretty close to each other so we went to the others every day. And though we were fine there were still conflicts. One of the most painful memories about her happened in 6th grade. Another friend of her told her not being friends with me anymore and so she did. And she not only stopped being my friend but also was really rude, she laughed at me, even spread that I was a slut. (I was 13 then.) In 7th grade her other friend was gone and she came to me. Never apologized just talked to me like nothing happened and I forgave her. We never brought it up.
Now we barely have time for each other, especially her. Since she’s together with his current boyfriend she doesn’t really care about me saying she’s tired or goes to his boyfriend and so on. We talk really little. She’s with him for about 4 years now and planning to move to him and his parents in July. Even though that man eventually lives in Austria due to his work so she would actually live not with his boyfriend but rather his mother-in-low and father-in-low. Never mind it’s her problem.
To be honest one of the things, which triggered me the most to making this decision happened about 3 and half years ago. My “best friend” (let’s just call her A) and me went to another friend (S). We had a casual conversation when my friend A just burst out shouting at me, telling me how wrong I am about my opinions. I was so shocked I couldn’t say a word , I didn’t even understood what has taken her, I didn’t say anything to her and still she acted like she was actually insulted. It was crazy. Then as we went home, though she didn’t used to walk home with me for years then (still remember the day she told me she won’t walk home with me anymore since I’m grown up enough to go home alone), she just did and all the way she was talking about my bad habits, all my failures, how I should change myself. The worst part was she was saying all those things without even thinking, like she was reading a fucking list. She only stopped a few times for asking me if I won’t say a word or what. Well, I didn’t. I was crying behind my scarf and when we arrived home I stared her trying to say something but then I just turned around and left her behind.
And now it happened again. She always rude but I accept it, she’s like that, it’s okay. We’ve been friends for 15 fucking years, we shouldn’t fuck it up. But I feel like I’m a full glass. I can’t take anymore. Why should I always suffer from her hurtful words? I’m not her doormat after all. So about a week ago I went to her with cried out eyes. When she opened the door her only response was “What’s wrong? haha You’re always in a bad mood.” No wonder I didn’t want to tell her what bothered me anymore. We went to aerobic along with S. (S is a friend A never liked, never cared about but for some reason she hangs out with S for almost 3 months now.) I didn’t want to talk so I just listened to them all day. I realized they hang out a lot together lately after work. It’s funny because A lives a few houses from ours and never came to me after work just to talk about casual things or ask me how I’m doing. It really hurts me but what really hurts me is her behavior when S is around. She’s rude as fuck without S too but when she’s with us she’s such an asshole, I really don’t understand what’s so good in that. And A doesn’t even realize how uncomfortable it is even for S. So after shouting at me like mad just because I was not in the mood I had enough. I won’t endure it anymore. I had enough that she always hurts me, I had enough that whenever someone says bad things about her I could kick them in the guts, but when her only other true friend tells something about me she just laughs. Like hey, it’s not funny you little shit, when someone says bad about your friends you should shut them and not play along! Even if they’re also your friends.
I’m not sure if it would stay like this because I really feel bad about losing such an old friendship, and her family is like my second family, I’m afraid of losing them. Time will tell, the only thing I know right now is that she didn’t even call me since then. The next time we went to aerobic I went alone, she didn’t call me, I didn’t call her, but she called S and went with her. I could literally see the shock on her face when she noticed me. I think she thought I wouldn’t go without her. Well, she was wrong. S was like always, we were fine, but A didn’t talk to me during the whole night, and after aerobic, as we said our goodbyes to S she turned to my grinning and asked me if I’m pouting. I stared at her and said “no”, because I was not. I was not pouting; I just didn’t care about her like at all. She said – still grinning – that “it’s okay then”. So I just got on my bike and rode home without a word.

Changing the topic the other thing I wanted to talk about is our dog. He died one and a half week ago. He was only 11 years old but was in a really bad condition. On Wednesday as I got home I found my family crying. They told me we must put him to sleep – or whatever is the correct word in English. I went to him and give him food from my own palm. He licked it off and ate all the food. He was happy, we even combed his coat, he was rolling and playing, we were so happy, thought he will be fine. But the other day my sister called me and told me they called the vet. The vet said he was very sick and had a very little time to live so they made the decision. I’m against these kind of things until the very last moment, really, but it was the best decision. It’s still really hard, since I’m in this world there was no time when we had no dog so it’s really weird and also painful. I still always look at his place when I walk by it or look out of my window. Just out of habit. And then I remember I won’t see him anymore. It’s very difficult. Well, the day I went to A with my puffy, red eyes was the day after his death.

Third thing: It’s a good thing. It’s not something which has any affect on my life or many others’ lives but it’s something which has a huge affect on many many people’s lives. Finally it’s legal in all 50 states in the US to get married whatever your gender and sexual identity is. In other words: gay marriage is legal. Love wins. Long live the president! I really love Obama.

Well, that would be all for now. No updates sadly. I'm such a horrible person I know.
Tags:

Dec. 1st, 2013

merthur

SebSon - I Think I Missed You chapter 7

Finally! I finished the new chapter which I wanted to write so bad since I got the inspiration for this story. The next two chapters will be the same but this one is very important for me. I think it's a cute one, and most of all I must say I'm very satisfied with how it turned out to be. I don't know what will you think after you read it but for me it became perfectly what I imagined it to be.

So enjoy! :)




SebSon - I Think I Missed You chapter 7Collapse )

Nov. 24th, 2013

merthur

Last ever race of the F1 season this year, and last ever race for Mark Webber in Formula 1

Today is the last F1 Sunday of the year, the season finally comes to an end. It's more emotional than ever.All my feelsCollapse )
Mark 1st win

Nov. 11th, 2013

merthur

SebSon - I Think I Missed You chapter 6

Hey Everyone,

I know, I know it's a very late update but finally I finished the next chapter of I Think I Missed You. Actually I wasn't sure about this one and that’s the reason I couldn't make myself finish it sooner. Well, it's funny to say I still couldn't write what I actually wanted to put in this chapter since it turned out to be a too long one, and though at first I was planning to share it as the first part of the 6th chapter it became the 6th chapter itself, and the main thing I actually wanted to write so much will be in the next.
I must say this is not my favourite one, I think it's a bit weird chapter and maybe you won't like it as much as you did the others but I hope the continuation will ease your minds and you won't stop like the fic.

I want to say a big thank to all of you who read it, and a special thanks for all the feedbacks I got. It means a lot, guys, you give me a lot of strength to write it. Thank you! ^^

Now enjoy the new chapter!

SebSon - I Think I Missed You chapter 6Collapse )

Nov. 6th, 2013

merthur

Dong Bang Shin Ki fanfiction

Eljött az ideje egy Dong Bang Shin Ki fanfictionnek. (Igen, Dong Bang Shin Ki és nem DBSK, csak mert szeretem így kiírni, sőt, kimondani, sokkal jobban, mint bármelyik más nevet vagy rövidítést.^^)
Még pár éve írtam drága barátosném és kinevezett ikertesókám, Orsi születésnapjára. Nem a legjobb írásom (ha van egyáltalán olyanom), a vége kifejezetten elcsépelt lett, úgy érzem, de most megtaláltam a gépemen, újraolvastam (igen, egy egész picit bele is javítottam), és úgy döntöttem, egye fene, annyira nem rossz, hogy rejtegetnem kelljen, sőt, az alapötlet nekem kifejezetten tetszik, úgyhogy most itt van, hátha egyszer valaki véletlenül megtalálja (amit kétlek) és kedve támad adni neki egy esélyt.
A történetről csak annyit, hogy ez már az együttes "feloszlása" után játszódik, sőt, itt már Eunhyuk is követte Junsut a twitteren, amit csak azért említek, mert lesz egy kis szerepe a sztoriban, és mert emlékszem, hogy akkoriban ez még hatalmas szenzációnak számított (nekem legalábbis). Ezen kívül pedig a cím azt hiszem, minden mást elárul.

Cím: Keserédes Születésnap
Szavak száma: 4433
Korhatár: nincs
Megjegyzés: a fiúk (sajnos) az SM Entertainment, a C-JeS Entertainment illetve önmaguk tulajdonában állnak. A valósággal történő bármilyen egyezés a véletlen műve, a történetből semmilyen hasznom nem származik, és csak a saját magam illetve mások szórakoztatásának céljából íródott.

Jó olvasást! :)

DBSK - Keserédes SzületésnapCollapse )

Oct. 2nd, 2013

merthur

New fic - Who Are You

Title: Who Are You
Pairing: sebson
Rating: PG, R etc. maybe NC-17 later
Summary: "I will not tell you our love story, because – like all real love stories – it will die with us, as it should."
Jenson and Sebastian were in a happy relationship together which was already a miracle. As it began and even what it became. They went through so many troubles and difficulties just to get what they had till this time. But what if something changes everything in their lives and they have to start from zero? Can they stand the test of life or will they fail? Could someone's fate be so strong and intensive it surmounts all the hindrance ahead lightening through the dark pieces of their past?
Remark: Yes, it's my new sebson fanfiction which is a bit different from my other works. It's an AU fic with a bittersweet storyline. I started it for a while now but since I'm working on my other fic I didn't care about this one as much as I wanted so I thought I'd post this little part on my blog just to motivate myself. Maybe it's going to work I'm not sure but the story is already in my mind and once I really want to finish this one. I'm so in love with it but I’m preoccupied with the other fic.
Hope you'd like it too. Here's the... prologue actually. Enjoy!

P.S.: I'm still working on the next chapter of I Think I Missed You. I was a bit busy lately and it seems this chapter will be a long one again so I'm a bit slow with it, but I do my best to bring it soon.^^

Who Are You - PrologueCollapse )

Sep. 2nd, 2013

merthur

SebSon - I Think I Missed You chapter 5

New chapter, a bit longer than the usual...

SebSon - I Think I Missed You chapter 5Collapse )

Aug. 16th, 2013

merthur

SebSon - I Think I Missed You chapter 4

A bit late update since my pc became damaged again.
I recommend this chapter to my dear friend, Gabi (mrsgombember). :3
Enjoy!

Sebson - I Think I Missed You chapter 4Collapse )

Jul. 21st, 2013

merthur

SebSon - I Think I Missed You chapter 3

SebSon - I Think I Missed You chapter 3


Seb baby Seb aww so cute


Jenson little Suttyó Button

I Think I Missed You chapter 3Collapse )

Jul. 13th, 2013

merthur

Hungarian GP tickets

Our tickets to the Hungarian GP have arrived on Wednesday! And it seems we can go in the pit lane with these tickets too. (But it's still not sure, so... Let's hope, there's a chance according to what the tickets say.:3) *screams*

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